College football is here and Auburn gets to play it before 97% of the rest of the nation. Is that a good thing? A bad thing? I don’t know, but it’s coming either way. Since nobody can ready more than a Snapchat these days, I’ve done these one sentence predictions for the last 15 years. Here, go look at how right I’ve been. I was perfect one year. You’ll never guess which one.
2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023 | 2024
Now it’s time for you to hitch your gambling wagon to the picks below. They may be short, but they are backed by years of research. Here you go…
Aug. 29 – at Baylor – Jackson Arnold answers the main offseason question while the talent difference between the Tigers and Bears becomes very apparent after a slow and sloppy, first-game start for both teams.
Worry level: 7. Score: Auburn 31, Baylor 17
Sept. 6 – Ball State – David Letterman’s alma mater provides exactly zero challenge to the home team as the new North endzone BOOMtron is lit up early and often.
Worry level: 3. Score: Auburn 42, Ball State 10
Sept. 13 – South Alabama – The in-state team playing their Super Bowl at 11:45 am will keep it a tad uncomfortable until Cam Coleman scores three 2nd half touchdowns.
Worry level: 3. Score: Auburn 38, South Alabama 13
Sept. 20 – at Oklahoma – Jackson Arnold returns to his old team, throws for two and runs for two, and steals the win the Sooners stole last season in Jordan-Hare Stadium.
Worry level: 7. Score: Auburn 28, Oklahoma 21
Sept. 27 – at Texas A&MÂ – The Aggies are feeling some revenge after last season’s overtime loss, but a last minute pick-six seals a 10-point win for the Tigers.
Worry level: 8. Score: Auburn 20, Texas A&M 10
Oct. 11 – Georgia – Sitting at 5-0, coming off a bye week, Auburn uses a high-level passing attack to show they are the better team in the rivalry this season.
Worry level: 9. Score: Auburn 27, Georgia 23
Oct. 18 – Missouri – The good Tigers beat the bad Tigers in a very easy win for the good Tigers.
Worry level: 5. Score: Auburn 38, Missouri 14
Oct. 25 – at Arkansas – Hugh Freeze remembers the last trip to Fayetteville and thinks 48 points wasn’t enough, which means Sam Pittman will be fired after this one is over.
Worry level: 5. Score: Auburn 52, Arkansas 10
Nov. 1 – Kentucky – The Wildcats will be in basketball mode by the time this one kicks off, so it will look like your Auburn-Kentucky games of old.
Worry level: 4. Score: Auburn 34, Kentucky 7
Nov. 8 – at Vanderbilt – The Commodores will be battling it out for their 3rd win of the season, but Cam Coleman shows Diego Pavia what actual good football looks like with a three touchdown day.
Worry level: 4. Score: Auburn 31, Vanderbilt 13
Nov. 22 – Mercer – It’s Mercer.
Worry level: 2. Score: Auburn 56, Mercer 3
Nov. 29 – Alabama – The worst Alabama team of the last two decades rolls into Jordan-Hare Stadium hellbent on keeping Auburn out of the top spot in the playoff, and leaves heartbroken.
Worry level: 10. Score: Auburn 28, Alabama 17
Now give me your predictions and/or tell me how smart I am in the comments section below.
