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Ranking the SEC after Week 5

The top three teams in the SEC are separating themselves from the rest and it’s making the SEC look bad. It’s not their fault. It’s the fault of the teams that lose to Sunbelt teams. So we’ve got some changes, but not too many… and YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I HAVE AUBURN.


1. Alabama (5-0)

Look, we know they are good, but these beatings over the last two weeks have come against Vanderbilt and Ole Miss. They probably won’t play a team until the Iron Bowl.

Last week: #1, beat Ole Miss 66-3

2. Auburn (4-1)

The Tigers have turned a corner, flipped a switch, realized the wrongs, made changes, all of that stuff. Why are they now above Georgia? Because Auburn beat Mississippi State by 39 and Georgia beat Mississippi State by 28. That’s why.

Last week: #3, beat Mississippi State 49-10

3. Georgia (5-0)

Georgia’s big win so far is over Notre Dame. Is Notre Dame good this year? Meh…

Last week: #2, beat Tennessee 41-0

4. Texas A&M (4-1)

Remember, the only loss on the Aggies’ record is a monumental comeback from UCLA. But then they they only beat South Carolina by a touchdown and struggled with Louisiana-Lafayette.

Last week: #4, beat South Carolina 24-17

5. Florida (3-1)

Florida is the 2nd best team in the SEC East and that tells you nothing. I guess that’s a little better than being the best team in the SEC East and it meaning absolutely nothing.

Last week: #7, beat Vanderbilt 38-24

6. Mississippi State (3-2)

One of the best songs on the Foo Fighters’ album Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace is called “The Pretender.”

Last week: #5, lost at Auburn 49-10

7. Arkansas (2-2)

Arkansas is being Arkansas and just hanging around with not terrible losses.

Last week: #8, beat New Mexico State 42-24

8. LSU (3-2)

Coach O is a mascot.

Last week: #6, lost to Troy 24-21

9. Kentucky (4-1)

If your school name is Eastern <state name>, you can hang with Kentucky and almost beat them.

Last week: #9, beat Eastern Michigan 24-20

10. South Carolina (3-2)

The Gamecocks are who we thought they were. Can be decent, but not that decent.

Last week: #10, lost at Texas A&M 24-17

11. Vanderbilt (3-2)

Well… they scored this week.

Last week: #11, lost at Florida 38-24

12. Ole Miss (2-2)

When you beat Alabama a few times and then your coach gets canned for the reasons he got canned, this is going to happen.

Last week: #12, lost at Alabama 66-3

13. Tennessee (3-2)

Hey, why don’t you and Missouri get together and decide where y’all are going.

Last week: #13, lost to Georgia 41-0

14. Missouri (1-3)

Congratulations on not losing this week.

Last week: #14, Bye Week

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