This Week: 4-3
Last Week: 5-3
Vanderbilt at Kentucky – I will give this game the respect it deserves. I hate you ESPN2. How dare you?
Kentucky 1, Vanderbilt 0
Vanderbilt 31, Kentucky 24 – FAILURE
UL-Monroe at Ole Miss – Ole Miss will win, and should win very big, or they could lose and make our loss look worse. If you want to factor in Auburn’s success with these two teams Ole Miss will win 44-0. It won’t be that much.
Ole Miss 34, UL-Monroe 10
Ole Miss 59, UL-Monroe 0 – SUCCESS!
Troy at LSU – This one is close going into the 4th quarter. LSU and it’s fans have given up on the season, and if much more of this occurs, the Hat will be on the hot seat by the end of next season.
LSU 30, Troy 21
LSU 40, Troy 31 – SUCCESS!
South Carolina at Florida – The only thing appealing about this game is the Spurrier storyline, which is enough for CBS to slate it as the top game of the week. Will Verne Lundquist choke on his microphone while saying Tebow’s name for the 67th time in the first quarter while using words like magical, flashy, and stupendous? Will Gary Danielson be waiting outside the locker room for Tebow’s autograph. Tune in to find out. After all, CBS just knows the whole country will be watching and waiting.
For my actual prediction…it won’t be close.
Florida 42, South Carolina 17
Florida 56, South Carolina 6 – SUCCESS!
Mississippi State at Alabama – Here’s a change in strategy: Alabama wins big by beating Croom in every facet of the game. They score 30 in the first half and 31 in the second half. Mississippi State never gets past their own 40. Maybe this will work.
Alabama 61, Mississippi State 0
Alabama 32, Mississippi State 7 – SUCCESS!
Georgia at Auburn – As I said in the preview, this game is getting no love, but I guess that’s exactly what we want. Nobody expects us to win. They expect a 30 point beating by the hands of the Dawgs. I’m not really sure how they are going to score 60 to help back up those 30 points they win by with how bad their scoring defense is. But anyway, this is Tommy Tuberville at his best. Everybody hates Auburn right now. Auburn hates Auburn right now. All the forums are saying Auburn is falling apart, Tray Blackmon may be leaving, Tubby is getting divorced, all the recruits are looking elsewhere, and Chris Todd is running a prostitution ring (kidding). These are all rumors, probably all started by Bammers. It’s amazing how things can seem so bad just because the rival has a little success. It’s also amazing how quickly the cocky, look-down-the-nose attitude has returned. Hey Bammers, have you beaten Auburn in the last 6 years? Didn’t think so, so pull your bottom lip up and be quiet.
Anyway, to my prediction. This game is going to be close. Turnovers will be the main factor. Our normal defense that hasn’t been healthy in weeks will give their offense more trouble than they’ve had in weeks. And our offense will finally succeed and continue to improve against UGA’s terrible defense. If Kodi can run like he did last week, and keep the INT’s to 1 or less, this game is way closer than anybody who isn’t close to the progam wants to believe. I believe the Auburn fans will be very loud and very into the game, because we all see that this game can be won. Anybody who doesn’t think so, needs to stay home and watch the Bama game.
This game will be one of those like in 2005, with one team pulling it out at the very end. That team will be Auburn. Go ahead and by your PapaJohns.com bowl tickets now!
Auburn 34, Georgia 30
Georgia 17, Auburn 13 – FAILURE
Other Games That Might Tickle Your Fancy
Sadly there are no games this week that would tickle your fancy or anything else.
** Upset Special **
Notre Dame at Navy – Not really an upset anymore, but it has some semblance of one. The beginning of the end of the FUPA.
Navy 20, Notre Dame 13
Notre Dame 27, Navy 21 – FAILURE
“These are all rumors, probably all started by Bammers. It’s amazing how things can seem so bad just because the rival has a little success. It’s also amazing how quickly the cocky, look-down-the-nose attitude has returned. Hey Bammers, have you beaten Auburn in the last 6 years? Didn’t think so, so pull your bottom lip up and be quiet.”
This paragraph is what communications studies professors refer to as a “straw man fallacy,” a tactic in rhetoric in which the arguer — with no actual leg upon which to stand — simply invents an alternate universe and argues points that don’t actually exist.
A great example:
Me: What do you think of the Auburn-Georgia game?
Kurt: I think you Bammers should quit running your yap until you beat Auburn at something. SIX, YOU JACKHOLE!!!! EAT IT!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
It’s entertaining, but unfortunately Kurt still hasn’t actually answered the question.
haha not at all. it was a poorly written paragraph with a bunch of thoughts jumbled up.
“Go ahead and by your PapaJohns.com bowl tickets now!”
I’m pretty sure you get 1 free ticket if you order one large specialty pizza with a 2 liter coke.