If you were at the game last weekend, you surely heard the shreiks of fear and jubilation coming from the press-box side of the stadium as Nova, one of Auburn’s eagles, came very close to snatching up a human during her pregame flight. I’ve always thought Nova was the rogue of the bunch. Her flights are shorter than Spirit’s, Auburn’s bald eagle, and she always seems to just do what she wants. This was the case like never before during last week’s pregame festivities. However, the near-mishap has brought us one of the funniest pictures I have ever seen, which brings me to the point of this post.
Last night, as Beautiful ‘Blogle and I were looking at this picture, we started coming up with what each person in the picture was saying during the attack. A few minutes in, we were laughing so hard that our heads hurt, so I decided to come up with a little contest based off of that.
You will below see that I have given a few of the fans/victims a number. What I want you to do is post a caption in the comments section for one or two or all of the numbers. It could look something like this:
1. “What the…”
8. “Lawd Jesus, help me…”
I’ll pick the top five later this week, and then let the readers vote for the best one. The winner will receive the “First Time Ever” DVD.
Don’t hold back. Your mama doesn’t read this blog. Oh, and don’t send your captions in an email or anything. I am only choosing from the comments section. If you have are having trouble registering to post yours, send me an email and I’ll get you signed up.
Have fun and be creative.
Nova: Wait a minute….This isn’t the South Carolina section….
1. Oh No, you betta tell that bird to settle himself.
2. Honey, look, I think Nova has a tatoo.
3. EEEEk! Run for your life!!!
4. Hey, Nova, why not take out the annoying Gamecock over there.
5. Dadgumit! That birds done gone and crapped on my new ball cap.
6. Hmmm, that whiskey I had earlier sure does make the eagle look much closer than normal.
7. Oh, heavens, you’re right honey. I didn’t know they could crap in flight.
8. Why are y’all freaking out? I’ve seen one closer than this.
9. He better be glad he didn’t come close to me.
10. Dang, boys, that there’s a real eagle. Never knew.
1. I wish an eagle would!
2. If I duck down, no one will be able to see that I don’t have an Auburn shirt on.
3. Bottled water costs HOW much?!
4. Oh get away you nasty bird! Shoo!
5. Daggumit. Bullseye.
6. If you play dead, it won’t attack.
7. Are ‘Home Alone’ references still cool?
8. Harhar! That’s a real knee-slapper!
9. Now sliiiiiiiiide to the right. Clap Clap y’all.
10. That’s the worst intro video we’ve had yet.
1. Eagle, please.
2. TAKE GRANDMA!!! TAKE GRANDMA!!!
3. This is SPARTA!
4. Eagles love cinnamon. They hate shakers.
5. I’m too old for this ish. I’m out.
6. Crap. I think I parked on a yellow curb.
7. My baby! My baby! The eagle took my babyyyyyyy!!
8. “Camera phones are stupid,” he said. “Never going to need one,” he said.
9. Crank dat Soulja Boi.
10. That bird ain’t got nothin on the crap I saw in ‘nam.
1. “Hide yo kids, Hide yo wife, They dive bombin’ errbody up in hurr!”
2. “GET LOW”
4. “Oh My Goodness!! Take that you dirty bird!!”
5. “Please Don’t leave a War Crap on me!!”
6. “Where’s my shotgun when I need it?”
7. “Whoa! Eagle Bits!”
8. “I think I touched it!”
9. “Sweet War Eagle Jesus!”
10. “Get off my lawn!!”
1. That bird would look good in a KFC bucket.
2. Go to my happy place. Go To my Happy place.
3. I’m ALL IN! I just dropped a bomb too.
4. Give Me a High 5 Nova
5. Glad I wore my hat so Nova wouldn’t take my toupee.
6. Please don’t drop the bomb on me.
7. Oh my. Nova is a boy!
8. I pledge allegiance to Nova and the flight path he flies
9. Oooh that bird going leave a trail
10. What the Hell?
1) “I hope I look like how Patrice Oneal would react.”
2) “Hide me. I owe that bird $20.”
3) “THIS IS GREAT!!! I’M SO EXCITED!!!!”
4) “Oh, go on you bird, git (with an effeminate Southern male’s voice).”
5) “Oh my god, I think he pooped on me!”
6) “God, I hope he poops on #5.”
7) Not saying anything. Just scared ****less.
8) “Nova. Over here, Nova. Hey. Hey, Nova. Over here.”
9) “He’s after the amulet!”
10) “Sweet Jesus. An Aquila chrysaetos with the wing span of a Aquila verreauxii.”
I don’t know how the smiley face got on #8.
1. I will bust a cap in that bird’s @$$…
2. Stop, Drop & Roll!
3. We are all going to die! Run for your life! Save yourself!
4. You go eagle! Holler at your boy!
5. Aww schucks, I have been shat on…again.
6. I’m not scared, that eagle will go after the weak ones first like that flamer (#5) or the one staring at it’s balls (#7).
7. The eagles balls are bigger than my husbands!
8. I have had way to much to drink because it seemed like that eagle got real close. (hiccup) I love that damn eagle. (hiccup) Where my mini’s?
9. I hope it doesn’t have the bird flu…
10. GD eagle, don’t make me get my belt and whip the sh!t out of you!
1. Sweet mother of…. (sweating) Is that eagle…coming.. for MEEEeee?!!
2. (The bird can’t see me.. the bird can’t see me.. the bird can’t see me)
3. OMG! (unstoppable, breathless laughter) They.. said… the… game.. would.. be.. in.. 3-DDDDDDDDDD!
4. BWAhaaahaaa.. Nova… HIGH FIVE!
6. Can’t see a damn thing without my glasses.. can anyone read the jumbotron?
7. Nooooooo! That was MY collector cup!(and there was still a drink in it!)
8. Hi Honey! Can you see me? Hoo hoo .. over here! (waving… waving) Wearing the white shirt… right here… honey? (he always goes down the wrong aisle)
9. Why…. I…. never knew Nova had THAT on her belly!
10. Whaaa?…Arkansas LOST to Bama??!?
1. This bird done lost its mind
2. I’m so scared I’m gonna take a dump on granny
3. F&$@ YOU NOVA!!!!!!!!
4. Ok, Ok, you got me, I’m gay… I admit it.. I’M GAY!!!!!!!
5. After two wars this is how I’m gonna die?!?!
6. That sh!t I smoked earlier was AUsome!
7. Look at the slong on that thing!
8. Everybody’s hands go UP!
9. Look how gay #4 looks!
10. Oh crap, I took two Cialis pills this morning
01 – Auburn has some big ass pigeons
02 – That dang bird knew that I was not saying War Eagle
03 – Yikes.. I should have had that pre-game drink
04 – POM POM shields activate
05 – Last time I will wear Magic Rabbit Cologne
06 – I wonder if that is a Aquila Chrysaetos or a Haliaeetus Leucocephalus?
07 – Is there an Eagle Whisperer in the stadium???
08 – Mildred… this place has bats
09 – Hmmm, I wonder I could take Nova to Tuscaloosa this year
10 – Damn bird has been watching too many Cam Newton highlights
!.) Lawd, the size of that thang
2.) I’m gonna hide, so nobody sees I can get a better look from this angle
3.) Oh yes! I want one like that!
4.) EW So do I gurlfriend!
5. I hope he doesn’t hit my new hat with that thing.
6.) I can’t believe what I’m seeing
7.) I don’t know if anybody could handle that!
8.) I think I can
9.) My husband lied to me!
10.) Well, would ya look at that!
And last but not least..from the girl right above the guy with the arm sling..
I didn’t know they could be that majestic in flight!
3 & 4. It’s a bird…. look at the bird….
5. Oh don’t crap. Oh dont crap.
6. *So blitzed from the tailgating that he thinks that this is just a hallucination.
7. War Eagle!…. wait…nevermind…..
8. Wait, that was my $4 cup of watered down coke!
10. Well look at what she is wearing down there!
1. War Eagle!
2. War Eagle!
3. War Eagle!
4. War Eagle!
5. War Eagle!
6. War Eagle!
7. War Eagle!
8. War Eagle!
9. War Eagle!
10. War Damn Eagle!
1. “It better not come up in here!”
2. “OOOO he could get my new sunglasses right off my head”
3. “Oh look its a pretty bird!”
4. “Shoo get away you old dirty bird!”
5. ” not on the hat, not on the hat, not on the hat”
8. “wish I had my binoculars”
9. “ooooo that thing has some claws on it”
10. “Duh, I didnt know they let birds fly in here”
1. Aw HEEEEEEEEELL NAW
2. Don’t let him get my $8 cold nachos!!!
3. If we scream back at him he won’t get us!!! C’mon Everybody!! RAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
4. Eeeeeeek! gitawaygitawaygitawaygitawaygitaaway /high pitched squeal
5. Ahhh. My back! Damn bird!
6. This ain’t nothin. Back in ‘Nam, Charlie was way bigger and scarier. /drinks out of flask
7. I can see its balls!
8. NOVA!! NOOOOVA! MY CHILD NEEDS YOUR AUTOGRAPH!!! MY CHIIIILD!!! NOVAAAA!!!
9. This better not ruin my shirt.
10. Can anyone tell me if I just pooped myself?
1) That eagle’s got SWAGGA!
2) Fetal position….GO!
3) I’ve got bigger teeth than you. Stay back.
4) Take that you nasty nasty bird
5) And over the railing I go
6) I took a crap bigger than that this morning
7) Where’s my baby? Where’s my BABY?!?!
8) May I go to the bathroom now?
9) Oh my god, it took that woman’s baby!
10) Did we score? What’s happening?
1. Awwwww hell naw
2. (ripping nasty fart on grandma to the right)
3. Inaudible Drunken Gibberish
4. OH Hay Bird Hayyyyyyyy! (gay voice)
5. I didn’t storm Normandy for this!
6. Is that a bird? How stoned am I? Is this real life? Who is this woman next to me? WHOOOOAAAAA Double Rainbow
7. Now I will do an impression of myself eating a hotdog
8. My mother had an affair with Susan B Anthony.
9. YOULLLLLL Crank Dat Soulja Boy
10. FUCK THIS NOISE… I’m going to get a pretzel
1- Holy Lord… (the way Trey White says it) :-)
2-I think I dropped it in my PURSE!
5-I’m going to jump!!!
6-Thank you Lord for that whiskey this morning!
8-Maybe I can touch it!
9-Whoah, that’s close
10-Great googly moogly
2. Ssssh, maybe it want see me.
3. SCREAM! (A form of combustion instability, especially in a liquid-propellant rocket engine, of relatively high frequency, characterized by a high-pitched noise.
4. Mmmt, oh my Larry, the bird is trying for my pom pom.
5. Quick! Stop, drop and roll.
6. Damn you Charlie, this war was over years ago.
7. Is that bird suppose to be doing that?
8. Oh WOW! Can I be next?
9. I think it touched me.
10. Honey, I don’t feel so good.