Auburn was not supposed to beat Alabama this past weekend, but if they did, the only way would’ve been with some really weird voodoo that became the talk of the town the last few weeks. Right?
There isn’t actually any voodoo and Auburn has only beaten Alabama when Auburn was good enough to beat Alabama. But that was the story to make Alabama fans feel better if Auburn beat Alabama.
Auburn was literally one play from doing that. Again, with no voodoo. In fact, they were one play away from beating Alabama with none of the intangibles going their way. Alabama had zero turnovers and zero inexplicable anythings. Alabama outgained Auburn. And while 2 of them were meaningless and came on the last play of each half, Auburn had 3 turnovers. Alabama needed the help. Alabama needed the voodoo.
Alabama needed the voodoo of a 4th and 31 conversion in which a tight end may or may not have but definitely did start his route almost a full second before the snap and in which an Alabama receiver may or may not have but definitely pushed off the Auburn defender before catching a perfectly thrown pass in the corner of the North end zone. (Alabama fans will stop reading right here and take to Twitter to say I’m blaming #TheRefs for the loss. I’m not.)
Nobody cares what you think about Auburn’s defensive decision on the final play. Auburn had 8 guys covering 5 guys in the endzone. That should work every time whether the quarterback has 3 seconds or 300 seconds to throw the ball. Quit getting your football acumen from Twitter.
Through absolute luck, or some my call it voodoo, and a slight push off (that I would never expect them to call because they didn’t have one single pass interference call in the entire game and was not going to let the Iron Bowl be determined by a judgement penalty), Alabama completed a perfect pass behind Auburn’s defender that was weirdly moving away from the receiver as he caught it. Weird how that was happening, but yeah.
Alabama has gotten all the praise from coming into as hostile an environment there ever could be and coming out with a win. It’s amazing that a team that was going to win by 50 would be fortunate to come out with a win over a 6-win team. Maybe it’s because Auburn is better than their record would show. Maybe it’s because Auburn continually plays one of the toughest schedules every single year and is judged horribly. Most teams across the nation play 1 ranked team all year. Auburn plays 3 Top 10 teams every year at minimum.
But Auburn sucks. We let people paid to talk and write about football influence the masses with the idea that a team, say Coastal Carolina or Tulane or a team that wins 11 games against teams Auburn would play for homecoming, actually tell you that those teams are better than Auburn because Auburn loses to Top 10 LSU, Alabama, Georgia, and Ole Miss.
But Auburn sucks. Alabama needed the miracle of all miracles (they’re saying that because they want a 4th down touchdown pass with 30 seconds on the clock to somehow overshadow the Kick Six) to beat lowly Auburn, and Auburn sucks. Listen to what they’re saying. Auburn sucks, but Alabama needed that to beat Auburn. So does Alabama suck? Does Auburn not suck? You tell me.
Auburn is a small town in East Alabama. The college is named after that town. It’s not named after a state. It’s not a name that many people outside of the southeast growing up knowing. It’s not on a map in a 2nd grade class.
But it’s one of the best football programs with one of the strongest fanbases in the history of college football. When Auburn wins their next football game, it will be their 800th overall win. That is 13th best in all of college football history. That’s up there with the Michigans, the USCs, and yes, the Alabamas. The big names people know about because they have a state name in their name.
All that doesn’t mean much to the 2023 Iron Bowl other than the fact that Auburn will never suck. Auburn is stacked against, bet against, looked down upon, shunned, laughed at because it’s not supposed to be what it is. It doesn’t benefit from being named after a state or being a huge program that has been pushed by TV screens since the 1960s. It does nearly as much as those teams with so much less.
Auburn is a small town in East Alabama. The college is named after that town. And that college is good enough to beat anybody. Without voodoo. Without help.
Maybe there is voodoo in Jordan-Hare. But if anybody needed voodoo to beat a team that was outgained, out turnover’d, out everything’d on Saturday night, it was the team that all besides Auburn fear. If anybody needed voodoo to beat little ‘ol sucky Auburn, it was Alabama.
