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Ranking the SEC after Week 9

Half the conference was off, but that doesn’t mean that nothing went on with those that did. For the first time in a few weeks, we got some moves, man. People losing that shouldn’t be, man. Why am I saying man, man? Oh, and YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I HAVE AUBURN, man.


1. Alabama (8-0)

Alabama has beaten 8 teams. None of those 8 teams are currently receiving any votes in any of the major college football polls. Slip up a little and see if I don’t drop you.

Last week: #1, Bye Week

2. Georgia (8-0)

They dismantled Florida. Florida is now 3-4 and fired their coach. Who cares? Again, their biggest win is over Notre Dame by one point, and I’m still sure how much clout I want to give that.

Last week: #2, beat Florida 42-7

3. Auburn (6-2)

Auburn did not play. They didn’t win. They didn’t lose. They just were. They’ve still played a tougher schedule than anybody ahead of them.

Last week: #3, Bye Week

4. Mississippi State (6-2)

I guess we’ll move the Maroons up to the top 3rd in the league, but when you lost to the current #2 and #3 teams by 30 and 39 respectively, this is as high as you’re going.

Last week: #5, beat Texas A&M 35-14

5. LSU (6-2)

The Purple Tigers took the week off to rest up for their annual low-scoring loss to Alabama.

Last week: #6, Bye Week

6. Texas A&M (5-3)

Just when I was starting to get scared of Texas A&M, they lay an egg at home against Mississippi State. The Maroons ain’t bad, but this one was never really even a game.

Last week: #4, lost to Mississippi State 35-14



7. Kentucky (6-2)

Kentucky might actually meet mediocrity in football this season. Good for them.

Last week: #8, beat Tennessee 29-26

8. South Carolina (6-2)

The Gamecocks are, like Kentucky, feeding on a really, really bad SEC East.

Last week: #9, beat Vanderbilt 34-27

9. Florida (3-4)

The Gators had everything it took to contend for the illustrious SEC East title for the third year in a row, but then everybody hated their coach.

Last week: #7, lost to Georgia 42-7

10. Vanderbilt (3-5)

Just when we thought Vandy might be improving, we look up and they are 3-5.

Last week: #10, lost at South Carolina 34-27

11. Arkansas (3-5)

Look at Bert trying to salvage something. It’s like he saw a piece of sausage on the floor and said “not today, sir!”

Last week: #13, beat Ole Miss 38-37

12. Ole Miss (3-5)

Just when we thought Ole Miss had a blowout under their belt, they let Bert come back on ’em. Ole Miss can not have good things this season. It is proven.

Last week: #11, lost to Arkansas 38-37

13. Tennessee (3-5)

It’s over. It’s been over. But it’s really over.

Last week: #12, lost at Kentucky 29-26


14. Missouri (3-5)

You sure can tear up those lesser non-conference teams, can’t you?

Last week: #14, beat UConn 52-12

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