Well, I went perfect with my picks last week (7-0). The only blemish on my entire bowl record is due to the Mormons. I’m kidding (sorta). So now we’ve officially hit the meat of the bowl schedule. Why do I say that? There are twenty games between today and next Thursday. TWENTY. And I predicted every single one of them. You better read them all. They are full of snark and packed with accuracy. Have fun.
Bowl Season: 19-12 (61.3%)
Regular Season: 110-32 (77.5%)
Overall: 129-44 (74.6%)
12/28
Advocare V100 Independance Bowl (1:00 p.m. ESPN)
Ohio vs. UL-Monroe – AUBURN BEAT A BOWL TEAM! AUBURN BEAT A BOWL TEAM! AUBURN BEAT A BOWL TEAM!
AUBURN BEAT A BOWL WINNER! AUBURN BEAT A BOWL WINNER! AUBURN BEAT A BOWL WINNER! (I think.)
UL-Monroe 31, Ohio 23
Ohio 45, UL-Monroe 14 – FAILURE
Russell Athletic Bowl (4:30 p.m. ESPN)
Rutgers vs. Virginia Tech – Well Virginia Tech kinda sucked this year, didn’t they? 6-6 in the ACC? Weren’t they supposed to have the next Cam Newton or something? Rutgers is moving on up to the Big 10, and will take a good first step by beating a team that at least has a name.
Rutgers 14, Virginia Tech 10
Virginia Tech 13, Rutgers 10 – FAILURE
Meineke Car Care of Texas Bowl (8:00 p.m. ESPN)
Minnesota vs. Texas Tech – I didn’t hear or think about Minnesota one time this year (what’s new?). Texas Tech has no Tommy Tuberville, which could make things tough, but probably not. They’ll win.
Texas Tech 30, Minnesota 20
Texas Tech 34, Minnesota 31 – SUCCESS!
12/29
Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl (10:45 a.m. ESPN)
Rice vs. Air Force – Come on. It’s just not fair. Air Force. Armed Forces. Sorry Rice, it’s just not in the cards. But just you wait, there will be an Uncle Ben’s Bowl within the next few years. Count on it. And when it comes, it’s a guaranteed win for you.
Air Force 35, Rice 17
Rice 33, Air Force 14 – FAILURE
New Era Pinstripe Bowl (2:15 p.m. ESPN)
West Virginia vs. Syracuse – Once I knew that Auburn was out of it for the season, I semi-adopted West Virginia as the team I wanted to win it all. The next week, they got blown out. So I guess my allegiance was the problem this season.
The Mountaineers have the offense, they just have no defense. Syracuse will be playing in their home state, but are very boring to me. I think West Virginia will easily outscore them. Take that, Pollone.
West Virginia 45, Syracuse 38
Syracuse 38, West Virginia 14 – FAILURE
Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl (3:00 p.m. ESPN2)
Navy vs. Arizona State – On one side we have the discipline of the United States military. The other is the biggest party school in the nation. One has an upstanding coach who preaches loyalty to one’s school and country. The other has a guy who texted his former players as he was flying to his new job. I want Navy to win, and I think they will.
Navy 31, Arizona State 30
Arizona State 62, Navy 28 – FAILURE
Valero Alamo Bowl (5:45 p.m. ESPN)
Texas vs. Oregon State – Remember the Alamo? More like remember Texas, amirite? Where have they gone? Why is Mack Brown the highest paid coach? Texas A&M has passed them by and are leaving them in the dust.
Oregon State, on the other hand, is a strong little brother in their state. Maybe they can tell Texas what they should expect. They can do so while beating the Longhorns.
Oregon State 27, Texas 17
Texas 31, Oregon State 27 – FAILURE
Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl (9:15 p.m. ESPN)
TCU vs. Michigan State – How many jokes are we going to hear about a referee tripping a player to extend the game? You know, the commercial? TCU wasn’t as strong this year, but neither was Michigan State. Both play defense, so don’t expect many points. I’ll go with the team that didn’t have their starting quarterback “kicked off” the team for failing multiple drug tests.
Michigan State 13, TCU 10
Michigan State 17, TCU 16 – SUCCESS!
12/31
Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl (11 a.m. ESPN)
North Carolina State vs. Vanderbilt – So get this: Vanderbilt gets rewarded for their season by traveling three miles from their campus to play where the Titans play, and on top of that, the bowl is named after their coach. Well, not really on the last one, but that’s pretty funny.
The Wolfpack was famous this year for knocking off Florida State. That’s about all they did. Vanderbilt will end a strong season… for Vandy.
Vanderbilt 31, North Carolina State 27
Vanderbilt 38, North Carolina State 24 – SUCCESS!
Hyundai Sun Bowl (1 p.m. CBS)
USC vs. Georgia Tech – Matt Barkley will not be playing due to injury, but no worries. You’re playing 6-7 Georgia Tech. That’s right, 6-7. In fact, I believe that when the Yellow Jackets lose, they will be the first team in the history of college football to go 6-8. Think about it. Most teams with only six wins don’t go to the conference championship game, and definitely don’t go to a bowl. It’s probably never happened. But it will.
USC 42, Georgia Tech 10
Georgia Tech 21, USC 7 – FAILURE
AutoZone Liberty Bowl (2:30 p.m. ESPN)
Iowa State vs. Tulsa – I can’t even put a thought together about this game. I’ll just say that I’ll be SO PROUD of Tulsa for beating the Cyclones. Oh wait, it’s the Hurricane vs. the Cyclones. That’s pretty cool. So yeah, Tulsa will win. Hurricanes are much stronger than little ol’ twisters.
Tulsa 34, Iowa State 24
Tulsa 31, Iowa State 17– SUCCESS!
Chick-Fil-A Bowl (6:30 p.m. ESPN)
LSU vs. Clemson – Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s this? No, this looks like a good football game. We’re allowed to have that? Oh, well dang. Come on in.
The boring offense meets the bad defense. The explosive offense meets the staunch defense. It’s the perfect matchup. By the way, did you know that Auburn held Clemson to it’s second lowest point total of the season (26), and was one of only two teams to keep them under 30 all season?! MORAL VICTORY! THERE I SAID IT! WE ONE PAWL!!!
LSU struggled this season with Ole Miss and Texas A&M. Those teams run the spread. Clemson runs the spread. LSU will struggle, but they’ll win.
LSU 24, Clemson 20
Clemson 25, LSU 24 – FAILURE
1/1
TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl (11 a.m. ESPN2)
Mississippi State vs. Northwestern – I hope Northwestern never, ever, ever, ever wins a bowl game. Here’s why. But that means that Megan Mullen gets a bowl victory. This is tough. I guess I’ll still take my heart out of it. The Bullpups will win.
Mississippi State 45, Northwestern 20
Northwestern 34, Mississippi State 20 – FAILURE
Heart of Dallas Bowl (11 a.m. ESPNU)
Purdue vs. Oklahoma State – Your bowl game is before noon and on the U? Ouch. I guess you won’t care if you’re playing it in Jerry World. Oh, it’s not there? It’s in the Cotton Bowl? So you get an early game with a half-filled, rickety stadium with limited TV coverage. I hope the bowl gifts were good.
Oklahoma State will kill the middle-tier Big Ten Boilermakers.
Oklahoma State 59, Purdue 13
Oklahoma State 59, Purdue 13 – SUCCESS!
Outback Bowl (12:00 p.m. ESPN)
South Carolina vs. Michigan – There has never been a “successful” team that I have been more “meh” about this season than South Carolina. They have turned into a perennial 10-11 win team that has nothing to show for it. With it looking like there is no real replacement for Lattimore anytime soon, they might go back to their perennial 6-7 win status.
Michigan is weird. It’s like, Denard is good, but he ain’t all that. I’m going to call this one a toss-up. South Carolina will win, somehow.
South Carolina 34, Michigan 20
South Carolina 33, Michigan 28 – SUCCESS!
Capital One Bowl (12:00 p.m. ABC)
Georgia vs. Nebraska – Georgia was a play away from the national championship game. Nebraska lost their last game by 500 points. I think Pelini is a good coach, but I don’t think he’ll take the Huskers much higher. Meanwhile, Mark Richt is a great guy. He’s never done anything wrong.
Georgia will win, end the season with a great record (maybe slightly aided by an easy schedule), and have nothing to show for it but a bowl trophy.
Georgia 38, Nebraska 17
Georgia 45, Nebraska 31 – SUCCESS!
Rose Bowl Game presented by Vizio (4:00 p.m. ESPN)
Wisconsin vs. Stanford – Wisconsin beat Nebraska by 500 points in the Big 10 Championship Game when they were only in it due to Sandusky and Tressel’s transgressions. But now they have no coach. Well, AD Barry Alvarez is coming down to the field to coach the bowl, but that’s it.
Stanford does have a coach, a very good one. They will beat the Badgers.
Stanford 28, Wisconsin 24
Stanford 20, Wisconsin 14 – SUCCESS!
Discover Orange Bowl (7:30 p.m. ESPN)
Northern Illinois vs. Florida State – Everyone thinks this will be a blowout. It normally probably would be. But what happens when everybody just throws a game out like this one? The opposite happens. And look who’s playing. Florida State. You never have any idea what they are going to do.
I think the Seminoles will win, but it will be very close for most of the game.
Florida State 27, Northern Illinois 24
Florida State 31, Northern Illinois 10 – SUCCESS!
1/2
Allstate Sugar Bowl (7:30 p.m. ESPN)
Louisville vs. Florida – Part of me thinks that this will be a blowout in favor of the Gators, but part of me remembers that Florida, even though they beat some good teams and have a good record, were very inconsistent this year.
Charlie Strong SPURNED many job opportunities this year to stay at Louisville. It almost appeared that he just wasn’t taking them because of how it would look to Louisville rather than it being a good career move. Whatever, that has nothing to do with this game. Florida will win.
Florida 31, Louisville 17
Louisville 33, Florida 23 – FAILURE
1/3
Tostitos Fiesta Bowl (7:30 p.m. ESPN)
Oregon vs. Kansas State – This could have very easily been the national championship game had Satan not intervened and made the cards fall exactly as they did. I think Oregon is far and away the better team, or on a normal day would have no problems with outscoring the Wildcats. But I’ll call this one my “upset special” and pick the Wildcats. They aren’t all going to end as we think they should. These two teams are proof of that.
Kansas State 37, Oregon 35
Oregon 35, Kansas State 17 – FAILURE
