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Football Funny Mailbag

Tuesday Mailbag: Dreams, Top 30, and Memories

I’ve always wanted to have a mailbag entry on the ‘Blogle, but until recently I’ve never really had enough emails to constitute such a post. I still don’t get as many as I’d like, so if you have anything you’d like to ask me, complain about, correct me on, or praise me for (preferred), send me an email. I will post the most entertaining and/or intriguing emails with my public response.

Our first email comes from someone who will remain anonymous by request. I must say this was one the funniest emails I’ve gotten in a while. In fact, it was the final straw in my decision to start this series.

Alright man, I promise I’m not crazy or highly medicated…but had to share the RANDOM & CRAZY dream I had last night. It was short, here it is:

Me & my dad were in some dude’s house talking to him about college football. This dude was huge. As in obese. At some point in the conversation he tells us that back in the day he played for FSU and was their long snapper. He pulls up his shirt to reveal a massive tattoo across his belly of an Indian (Chief Osceola?)…and the feathers of the Indian head were names of other long snappers in FSU history (you should be rolling in laughter by this point…I am). As he is pointing out different features of this tattoo, he says, “And there’s WarBlogle”. No worries, it was not your face, it was your logo. I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP. Perhaps you can decipher why the heck this dream happened and please relay that back to me???!!!!!!

Well I guess anytime I’m in someone’s dream it means that I’m being thought about. So that’s a good thing, even if I am part of some fat guy’s tattoo. I don’t really know what to say. It’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard, but it’s sort of flattering. I’d much rather be on Gene Chizik’s tattoo, though.


The next email comes from Justin Caldwell. He asks about the ever so popular Top 30 at Jordan-Hare series that I did leading up to the 2010 season:

I was just curious if you were going to update the Top 30 at Jordan Hare with games from 2010. I know there have to be a few in the top 30 from last year. I really enjoy the articles. The writing is very fun reading and very articulate. I can tell you graduated from AU and not UA….

First off, just thinking about going to UA makes me feel queasy and I start convulsing, so let’s not mention that anymore, okay? But about the Top 30…I had planned on updating them each season, but I’m going to give each season a one year grace period so the recent game high doesn’t affect my choices. The obvious candidates for the 2010 season would be Arkansas, Clemson, and LSU, but after a year or so, they may not seem as great once the high has died down. We’re talking about 30 years here. It’s easy to look back a few months ago and say “that game was killer!”, but when you put it up against some games from the 80’s and 90’s, it might pale in camparison.

So to answer your question, yes, I will add games from 2010, but not until the weeks leading up to the 2012 season.


The same guy who wrote about his dream sent me these “5 Theories” a few months ago. I’m starting to realize why he might have been dreaming about me, or at least my website.

Five Theories On Why WarBlogle Doesn’t Allow His Picture To Be Taken:

  1. He looks like Harvey Updyke. Can you blame him?
  2. The facial tiger eyes tattoo didn’t turn out like he expected.
  3. He’s really Pat Dye.
  4. Nick Fairley told him to remain a mystery, and you ALWAYS do what Fairley says!
  5. Chizik has the black leather jacket. Malzahn has the visor. WarBlogle has an embarrassing Snuggie.

Let’s go down the list. I look nothing like a walrus that has no life, so Updyke is out the window. I do like Mike Tyson, but no face tattoo. Sorry. If I was Pat Dye, I’d say wrasslin’ and likeus (like this) a lot more. Nick Fairley told me not to respond to the one about him, so I won’t. Lastly, I can neither confirm nor deny the Snuggie rumor.


The last email in the very first Tuesday Mailbag was actually sent to me before the season started, which is why it mentions the first game, but after Auburn’s loss to Clemson it’s still very relevant. Every Auburn fan should read this piece from David Granger.

For me, Auburn is all about memories. Cherishing those already made and making new ones.

Auburn is about Hitchcock, Gilbert, D’Agostino, Tidwell and, yes, Sullivan, Jackson and Newton. Auburn is about Heisman, Donahue, Meagher and Jordan and, yes, Dye, Tuberville, and Chizik. Auburn is about fathers watching games with their sons, instilling in them their love of the burnt orange and navy blue, preparing the son to do the same with his son.

I remember Clyde Baumgartner’s touchdown pass to Jeff Gilligan to beat Kentucky in ’75. I remember Harry Unger scoring the winning touchdown against Tennessee in 1971. I remember Kenny Burks — MISTER Touchdown — in the mid ’70s. And of course I remember the PLETHORA of TDs scored by Sullivan and Beasley, Bo, and Cam.

And there are those of you here, reading this blog, to whom my memories can’t hold a candle. I’d love to sit down with all of you, have a couple bourbons and just talk Auburn football.

Saturday, we kick off another season of this sport, this team that we love. We will do it as the defending National Champions. For most of us, that will be a unique experience. Yes, I wish it weren’t an 11 a.m. kickoff, but I can’t wait to see and hear the excitement in that stadium as the pregame videos debut, Nova flies and our beloved National Champion Auburn Tigers take the field.

As for expectations, the pundits say we’ll finish .500 or minimally above. But they don’t know the Auburn spirit. They are not members of the Auburn Family. They do not live by the Auburn Creed.

Me? I KNOW that my Tigers will show up, they will FIGHT and they will make me proud. And with this coaching staff and the talent (albeit young) they have accumulated, I believe we will have a fighting chance every time we tee it up.

I will make no predictions except to say that Coach Chizik and staff will always have us prepared to have our best chance to win. In 27 games at Auburn, that has been the case. I do not see it changing now.

So, if you want to buy the doom and gloom, go ahead. For me, I’ll buy AUBURN and a spirit that is not afraid.

I’ll stay fearless and true.

There’s nothing really left to say about this, other than it makes me run through a wall. As it should you.

So that’s it for the first Tuesday Mailbag. Do you like it? Do you want to see more of them? Do you have anything you’d like me to address in next week’s edition? If so, leave your comments below or send me an email.

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4 comments

DarthTiger 09/20/2011 at 11:58 pm

Brb, laughing/convulsing about the long snapper and running through aformentioned wall.

Awesome stuff man, I don’t usually comment, but I’m a long time reader of your blog. This would be a great weekly thing if you can get enough emails.

Reply
TheAuburnGirl 09/21/2011 at 10:56 am

I vote Yes for the Mailbag!

Reply
AUZoom 09/21/2011 at 11:47 am

Definitely keep this up!! Love it! I hope you can get plenty of emails!

Reply
Tuesday Mailbag: Distance, 28-27, Betrayal of a Son - WarBlogle.com 09/28/2011 at 11:16 am

[…] reviews on the inaugural Tuesday Mailbag were all positive so let's do this again. Of course, the week after saying I get enough emails now […]

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