Week 1 Predictions

How about this planning? I take a 5-night cruise, get off the boat, and college football starts that night. To top it off, it’s a three day weekend. Pretty baller if I can say so myself.

Anyway, last year’s predictions went pretty well. They weren’t against the spread, but a 76% straight up is pretty good. Put it this way, if I had a 76% in all my engineering classes at Auburn, I would have been pretty happy. And that was on actual facts and stuff, this is just using my proven ESP skills and psychic ability.

Bowl Season: 18-16 (52.9%)
Regular Season: 86-27 (76.1%)
Overall: 104-43 (70.7%)

As I did last year, I will not add my Auburn predictions to this post. Instead, I let my Twitter followers make that pick. If you’d like to do that, go ahead and join the revolution.

9/1

Mississippi State at Memphis – There are rumors circulating that Mississippi State could be without 10 players at kickoff due to suspension. Nothing has been announced yet, and according to the Mississippi State beat reporters, nothing will be until the game starts.

It won’t matter. Memphis is really bad at football.

Mississippi State 35, Memphis 7

Mississippi State 59, Memphis 14 – SUCCESS!

Kentucky vs. Western Kentucky (LP Field, Nashville) – Who made the executive decision to put a game that wouldn’t sell out most large high school stadiums in a pro stadium? I imagine the tourists on Broadway in downtown Nashville will only know there’s a game going on because the lights are on.

A few years ago, Western Kentucky was ranked the worst team in college football. I’m not going to look it up, but I doubt they’ve made much improvement. t

Kentucky 42, Western Kentucky 3

Kentucky 14, Western Kentucky 3 – SUCCESS!

9/3

Kent State at Alabama – Having two quarterbacks is never a good thing, unless Nick Saban decides to do it. Or at least that’s what the talking heads tell me. Of course, he won’t really have to use a quarterback against the Golden Flashes. Show of hands for who knew that was Kent State’s mascot?

The best defense of all time, Steelers included, won’t allow a point as whoever ends up taking the snaps hands the ball off to this year and next year’s Heisman winner.

Alabama 45, Kent State 0

Alabama 48, Kent State 7 – SUCCESS!

BYU at Ole Miss – All I see in this one is a black eye for the SEC. Ole Miss isn’t going anywhere near the positive direction and BYU is always decent enough to beat somebody.

With the Cougars coming to town, there won’t be this many white people in Oxford, well, since all the time.

BYU 27, Ole Miss 21

BYU 14, Ole Miss 13 – SUCCESS!

Montana at Tennessee – I’ll be honest, I had no idea this match-up was on the schedule. At first glance it looks like a cupcake beatdown, but then I remembered that Montana is the team that is usually playing late in the FCS playoffs each year.

This one has Appalachian State/Michigan written all over it. You’ve got the small school that dominates their division playing the big school that’s not exactly playing on the level we’re used to. I’m not saying it will happen, but it could happen.

It probably won’t.

Tennessee 38, Montana 17

Tennessee 42, Montana 16 – SUCCESS!

Missouri State at Arkansas – Tyler Wilson will throw for 400 yards and make everybody in Arkansas forget about Ryan Mallett. The only problem I see with this is that it will cause his overhype to grow to enormous levels. He played well for two quarters against Auburn people! Two quarters. Be original.

Arkansas 63, Missouri State 10

Arkansas 51, Missouri State 7 – SUCCESS!

East Carolina at South Carolina – This game looks like a typical South Carolina underachievement. It seems like East Carolina is always good for one upset, and it’s a fact that South Carolina will always lose one they shouldn’t. Why not this one? Let’s get them out of the talk early. I wish.

South Carolina 31, East Carolina 21

South Carolina 56, East Carolina 37 – SUCCESS!

Florida Atlantic at Florida – I don’t know about you, but I’m using this game to scout the Owls, and nobody else. I take that back, I’m not scouting the Owls, I’m scouting their coach, Howard Schnellenberger. I have got to find out where he hides that 1983 National Championship trophy. It’s ours, and when he shows up in Auburn later this season, I’m taking it.

Florida 42, Florida Atlantic 3

Florida 41, Florida Atlantic 3 – SUCCESS!

Elon at Vanderbilt – OH. EM. GEE. Are you kidding me? You couldn’t pay me $180,000 to go to this game. I’d be willing to bet that there will be study groups at Vanderbilt’s library that have a larger attendance than this one.

Vanderbilt 17, Elon 0

Vanderbilt 45, Elon 14 – SUCCESS!

Oregon vs. LSU (Cowboys Stadium) – Here’s the conundrum: Oregon can’t beat an SEC team, but LSU is missing some major parts. I keep going back and forth. LSU doesn’t scare me anymore, but Oregon returns most of the team that made it to Glendale last season.

Ok, I’m going with LSU. Oregon isn’t as good when their opponent has a long time to prepare for them. Les Miles will make the ending ridiculous, but he’ll find a way to win. Wait, that sounds wrong to say. He’ll be given a victory by the hands of Satan. Yeah, that’s better.

LSU 31, Oregon 30

LSU 40, Oregon 27 – SUCCESS!

Boise State vs. Georgia (Georgia Dome) – Both of you disgust me. Just play football. Quit trying to be on the cutting edge of fashion. It shows where you both are, actually. Georgia needs something to distract from their 5-year decline. Boise State wants to look cute and hope you forget that this is the only game they play this year that the Opelika Bulldogs couldn’t win as well.

I don’t even care.

Georgia 28, Boise State 20

Boise State 35, Georgia 21 – FAILURE

Twit-Fam Prediction

Utah State at Auburn – 46 people participated. 2 predicted Auburn to score eleventy billion points. 1 Bama fan predicted Auburn to lose 61-3. Here is the average:

Auburn 42, Utah State 16

Auburn 42, Utah State 38 – SUCCESS!